Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

There is a commonly quoted hadith (esp by men to their wives) that IF prostation was allowed then i would ask wives to prostrate themselves infront of their husbands {as a sign of respect}

And there is another hadith which says IF there was a prophet after me then it would have been umar bin khatab

My question is that when the Quran repeatedly says that prostation is only for Allah and there is no Prophet after Muhammad(PBUH) then where does the question of IF arises. The prophet Muhammad (PBUH) being a cautious man and knowing his limits would issue statements with IF in them seems unlikely to me.

Pls clarify if these hadith are authentic...

And if the hadith regarding the prostation to husband is authentic please could u explain why it is so. Why do husbands who are abusers, alcoholics alterers merit a prostation from wives and even if they are not so (ie abusers etc) then why would wives who have equal but not identical status be asked to bow in front of their husbands. By bowing does it not signify that husbands have a superior status over their wives whereas we all know that islam gives equality to both spouses....also a statment where a possibility of createe bowing to another createe....does not make sense.....even with the IF in it.....

your sister in islam

(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)

Answer:

Wife prostrate bow to husband

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Your Question: My question is that when the Quran repeatedly says that prostation is only for Allah and there is no Prophet after Muhammad(PBUH) then where does the question of IF arises. The prophet Muhammad (PBUH) being a cautious man and knowing his limits would issue statements with IF in them seems unlikely to me.

Pls clarify if these hadith are authentic...

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 285 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah

The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: 'Had it been permissible that a person may prostrate himself before another, I would have ordered that a wife should prostrate herself before her husband.'

The Messenger of Allah (saws) said: "If there were to be a Prophet after me, it would have been Umar (Al-Khattab)."

Related by Muslim.

Dear and beloved sister in Islam, both the above quoted hadiths are considered absolutely authentic by the scholars of ahaadeeth.

Beloved sister, allow us to relate an example which would explain the matter of the 'if' or 'had' as used by the Messenger of Allah (saws) in the above quoted narrations:

Lets say a person is severely ill and hospitalized and the doctor declares that absolutely no one can meet that person. The loved ones of the person take a request to the doctor that the mother is absolutely desperate to see her ill son...and the doctor declares: 'Had (or if) it been possible for anyone to see that patient, I would surely have allowed his mother to see him!' .... basically stating or implying the obvious that if the mother is not permitted to see her son, absolutely no one, no one can see that patient!

The Messenger of Allah (saws) declaration that had it been permissible for one in creation to prostrate before another, he would have ordered the wife to prostrate before her husband....although signifying the significance of the husband, emphatically emphasizes and seals the obvious fact that prostration under any circumstances cannot be done to anyone in creation!

Similarly, such were the qualities of Hadrat Umar (r.a.), that the Messenger of Allah (saws) said that if there were to be a Prophet after him, it would have been Hadrat Umar (r.a.)....although signifying the rank and status of Hadrat Umar (r.a.) in the sight of the Messenger of Allah (saws), emphatically emphasizes and seals the obvious fact that until the end of time, there will be no appointment of anyone to the rank and office of Prophethood after Prophet Mohamed (saws)!!!

Your Statement: By bowing does it not signify that husbands have a superior status over their wives whereas we all know that islam gives equality to both spouses....

Allah Says in the Glorious Quran Chapter 3 Surah Ale Imraan verse 36 (part):

...and the male is not like the female!

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah Nisaa verse 34 (part) :

Men are the maintainers (Qawwamoon) of women, because Allah hath made the one of them to excel the other, and because they spend of their property.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 2 Surah Baqarah verse 228:

And women shall have rights similar to the rights against them according to what is equitable; but men have (been bestowed) a degree over them; and Allah is Exalted in Power, Wise.

Allah Subhanah declares in His Glorious Quran that the male is 'not like' the female, and He, in His Supreme Wisdom and Knowledge has made one to excel the other.

It would not only be 'unright', but absolutely incorrect and unfair for a society to treat as 'equal' what the Creator has declared as unequal! The so called modern-educated but ignorant and un-Godly societies which have tried to challenge and reverse the bestowed nature and declare the men and women as equal have paid an enormous price in the forming of their families, in their homes, and in their lives!

Contrary to popular belief, men and women are not created equal by the All-Wise, All Knowing Lord; but rather, they are balanced! For the test period of this one transitory life, each has been given a set of duties and responsibilities by Allah Subhanah best suited according to their bestowed nature. Thus Allah Subhanah has decreed a separate but balanced test for the man and the woman in the life of this world, each according to its bestowed nature.

The societies which have propagated the 'equality' amongst the sexes have obviously not understood the nature of the man and the woman like the One Who Created their nature! The Creator has bestowed on the man and the woman 'balance' so that they may complement each other; but the ignorant and un-Godly society insist on making them 'equal' so that they may 'compete' against each other! Thus for them to declare 'equality' when the Creator has declared them 'balanced' is not only 'unright', but outright incorrect, unfair and unjust!

Your Statements: And if the hadith regarding the prostation to husband is authentic please could u explain why it is so. Why do husbands who are abusers, alcoholics alterers merit a prostation from wives and even if they are not so (ie abusers etc) then why would wives who have equal but not identical status be asked to bow in front of their husbands.

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 285 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah

The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: 'Had it been permissible that a person may prostrate himself before another, I would have ordered that a wife should prostrate herself before her husband.'

Dear and beloved Sister in Islam, the above declaration of the Messenger of Allah (saws) by no stretch of imagination implies that every man is perfect, or sinless, or he cannot commit errors and sins....but was simply to signify the rank and status of the husband as the leader, president, and chairman of the household.

The position of 'leadership' in Islam is quite opposite to the position of 'leadership' in this world, where the leader assumes and utilizes his rank and status to abuse, oppress, and tyrannize those under his command.....but the position of 'leadership' in Islam is meant to signify extra duties and responsibilities which the God-fearing and pious have to fulfill towards those under their command, if indeed they fear Allah and the Last Day. Those who are bestowed with the position of 'leadership' by their Lord will be responsible for those under their command, and those who use their rank and status of 'leadership' to abuse and oppress those under their command, they shall have an unbelievably severe accounting in the Presence of their Lord Most Majestic in the Hereafter!

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 3.592 Narrated by Abdullah bin Umar

I heard Allah's Messenger (saws) saying, "Everyone of you is a guardian, and responsible for what is in his custody. The ruler is a guardian of his subjects and responsible for them; a husband is a guardian of his family and is responsible for it; a lady is a guardian of her husband's house and is responsible for it, and a servant is a guardian of his master's property and is responsible for it; a son is a guardian of his father's property and is responsible for it, so all of you are guardians and responsible for your wards and things under your care."

Your Question: And if the hadith regarding the prostation to husband is authentic please could u explain why it is so

Dear and beloved Sister, just as no country worth its merit in the world has two prime-ministers, or two presidents, or two rulers of equal rank....and just as no company worth its merit has two 'Managing Directors', or two 'Chief Operating Officers' ..... the guidance of Islam absolutely and totally rejects the unjust and false notion of the educated-modern-but ignorant and ungodly world that there should be two equal 'leaders' in the running of the house or family!

Allah has bestowed the leadership of the family upon the husband, and made the wife his deputy....and the two leaders may talk, consult, discuss, and jointly solve the issues that arise in their family...but the ultimate responsibility of the family is laid upon the shoulders of only one party....thus paving the way for a peaceful, merciful, and harmonious household under the guidance and fear of Allah, the Lord and Creator of all.

Just as the 'Vice-President' or 'Deputy Prime Minister' is second-in-command in a nation and reserves the right to be consulted on every important matter in the smooth running of the affairs of a country....the wife as the deputy leader and second-in-command in the family reserves the right of discussion and consultation....but the 'buck' always stops at the rank of the leader...and it is the leader who is held responsible if something were to go disarray! Similarly, it is the husband, who has been bestowed with the office of 'leadership' will be the one who holds the ultimate responsibility of all that happens under his care, and it is he who will be accountable for fulfilling his role, duty and responsibility in the Presence of the Lord Most Majestic.

It is precisely to completely and totally ambush the false concept of 'double and equal' leadership that might arise in the running of the affairs in the family, and to save the believing households from the anarchy, disharmony, and discord that inevitably results from this 'double and equal' leadership...that the Messenger of Allah (saws) guided the believers, and reminded them which party is bestowed with the rank, position, duty, responsibility, and ultimately the accountability of being a 'leader' and which party as 'deputy-leader'.

Having said that the position and rank of being the leader of the family is bestowed upon the husband in Islam, one only needs to look at the quality of guidance given to the 'leader' by the Leader of the Believers, the Messenger of Allah (saws) to comprehend its reality:

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 278 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah

The Prophet (saws) said: The most perfect Muslim in the matter of faith is one who has excellent behaviour; and the best among you are those who behave best towards their wives.

Sahih Muslim Hadith 2181 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah

Allah's Messenger (saws) said:' Of the dinar you spend as a contribution in Allah's path, or to set free a slave, or as a Sadaqah given to a needy, or to support your family; the one yielding the greatest reward (with Allah) is that which you spent on your family.'

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3252 Narrated by Aisha ; Abdullah ibn Abbas

Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "The best of you is he who is best to his family, and I am the best among you to my family."

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3358 Narrated by AbuBakr as-Siddiq

The Prophet (saws) said, "One who treats badly those under his authority will not enter Paradise!"

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3256 Narrated by Umm Salamah

Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "Any woman who dies when her husband is pleased with her will enter paradise."

If one trusts, obeys, and follows the guidance and commands of Allah and His Messenger (saws), one can be assured of never ever being misled; but if one believes, obeys and follows any other guidance, other than that of Allah and His Messenger (saws), one can be assured of being led astray.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah's Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

Burhan