Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Salaamualaikum Sir, Alhamdulillah I am trying my best to be as pious a muslim as possible. I would like to know if chatting on internet and discussing religion as well as general things but not vulgar things with muslim girls or women is allowed or is it haraam? I came across woman who is divorced and said before she was ignorant about islam and was a bad muslim and said me that she was in adultery also. She says that I helped her in creating fear of allah and now she has become very religious and following 100% hijaab and praying even tahajjud. Now that she is very much interested in marrying me. I said her I am married person and have a family and may not give justice to you as you are from a different country. She says she dont care about wealth if i give her or not and also for time. She says even if i visit her once in a while also not matters. She just want me to be her husband and get emotonal and religious support.She says I helped her changed to islam.I am confused. Even if she doesnt care and forgives me that i dont give equal justice to her as to my first family will I be asked at the day of judgement about this aspect? Even if she does not care for wealth and time, do i have to give equal justice to both my wives or no? Please help me solve this problem and also please let me know that can i marry her after I know her past and now I feel she really changed?

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Answer:

Wife relinquish rights in marriage

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Your Question: I would like to know if chatting on internet and discussing religion as well as general things but not vulgar things with muslim girls or women is allowed or is it haraam?

Islam does not prohibit the believers with talking with non-mehram members of the opposite sex if one has an absolutely genuine need and all the conditions of ‘hijaab’ are scrupulously honored and maintained by both parties.  The casual chatting of two non-mehram members of the opposite sex would be considered developing an unlawful relationship, and such lewdness and secret intrigues are indeed a sin in the Sight of the Lord.  

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 5 Surah Maidah verse 5:

5        This day are (all) things good and pure made lawful unto you.  The food of the People of the Book is lawful unto you and yours is lawful unto them.  (Lawful unto you in marriage) are (not only) chaste women who are believers but chaste women among the People of the Book revealed before your time, when ye give them their due dowers and desire chastity not lewdness nor secret intrigues.  If anyone rejects faith fruitless is his work and in the Hereafter he will be in the ranks of those who have lost (all spiritual good).

Al-Tirmidhi HadithHadith 3118         Narrated byUmar ibn al-Khattab

The Prophet (saws) said, "Whenever a man is alone with a (non-mehram) woman, the Shaitaan is the third."

Your Question: ….Even if she doesnt care and forgives me that i dont give equal justice to her as to my first family will I be asked at the day of judgement about this aspect? Even if she does not care for wealth and time, do i have to give equal justice to both my wives or no?

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah Nisaa verse 3:

3        If ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly with the orphans, marry women of your choice two or three or four; but if ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly (with them) then only one or (a captive) that your right hands possess.  That will be more suitable to prevent you from doing injustice.

Sunan of Abu-Dawood Hadith 2128  Narrated by Abu Hurayrah

The Prophet (saws) said: ‘When a man has two wives and he is inclined to one of them, he will come on the Day of resurrection with a side hanging down.’

Allah Subhanah Demands and Commands the believers who choose to exercise the option of marrying and keeping more than one wife, that they do justice amongst their wives with the distribution and allocation of the two things which are in their absolute control: their time and their resources.

But if the woman who is going to be the new wife, of her own free will and without any coercion or force whatsoever, herself releases her equal rights in the allocation of the time and the resources of her husband that is rightfully due to her in the marriage, she is well within her rights to do so.  In such a situation, the husband would not be held accountable for not equally distributing his time and his resources to his second wife in the Court of Allah Subhanah.

It would only be prudent to document the agreement between the husband and the new wife at the time of nikaah, stating clearly that the new wife, of her own free will, wishes to relinquish her lawful rights in the equal allocation of her husband’s time and resources in the marriage. 

Not having to allocate equal time and resources with the wife who, of her own will, has agreed to relinquish her rights in the marriage does not in any way mean that one is allowed to keep a ‘secret’ wife!  All the obligatory conditions of an Islamic ‘nikaah’ must be honored and the marriage made public so that all concerned are well aware regarding the lawful relationship of marriage that exists between the couple.

Your Question: …..please let me know that can i marry her after I know her past and now I feel she really changed?

The obligatory conditions of an Islamic ‘nikaah’ are as follows:

1. Proposal by one party and acceptance by the other.
2. The determination of the ‘mehr’ to be given by the groom to the bride.
3. The availability of (at least) two witnesses to the marriage contract.
4. The consent of the guardians of the bride.

Provided all the obligatory conditions of an Islamic ‘nikaah’ listed above are honored, the marriage between the couple will be recognized as lawful and valid in the Sight of Shariah Law. 

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone.  Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

Burhan